Bystanders

When it comes to bullying, most anti-bullying programs seek to empower victims (which is quite the uphill battle) or punish the perpetrators (which is also pretty tricky and of limited effectiveness).  Most ignore the fact that bystanders are the real power in a bullying situation.  Their willingness to speak up about what they're seeing and hearing can turn things around quickly. And willful ignorance on their part is the power that allows bullying to continue.  

I was reminded of this when I saw this article about recent incidents at a local high school: http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-18816-“g_ing”_in_the_spotlight.html Athletes were routinely sexually abusing others as a form of hazing. It had apparently been going on for a long time before someone spoke up. What struck me as particularly repulsive was the fact that more than half the kids interviewed said they had heard about this abuse before the media started reporting on it, because it was general knowledge, and many kids were annoyed that their school was being signaled out by the media for something they believe happens routinely at other schools as well.

I dearly hope kids aren't sexually assaulting other kids in every public high school!  But I'm prepared to say that bullying is something the vast majority of kids learn about early, and most learn about it as bystanders. Hopefully homeschooling options and support will continue to grow, so that more people will have the option to simply fire their school when they find it has a culture that tolerates bullying.  And families need to be honest about whether homeschooling is really feasible.   But that's just not an option for every family.  We as families and community members, both adults and kids, need to speak up and refuse to go along with bullying in any form.